First Evangelical Free Church Sioux City, Iowa

Review: Family Shepherds

As I speak with other pastors in the region, a common theme rises to the surface regarding the families in our churches: it is very hard to get men to commit to being the spiritual leaders of their families. There are a number of reasons for this, some related to the men themselves (perhaps they don't want to lead, they put in too many hours at work, or they themselves don't follow Christ) to our society (which cares little for men stepping up to the plate and seems to discourage boys from growing into mature manhood) to perhaps even the way in which some of our churches function (by not calling men to a higher standard of faithfulness). Whatever the cause, it can be commonly agreed upon that we men must find ways to raise our brothers up as those who will lead their families well in pursuit of God's glory.

Enter Family Shepherds by Voddie Baucham. The entirety of this book is devoted to showing men how they can better lead their families spiritually. One crucial passage that Pastor Baucham points out repeatedly is Ephesians 6:1-4, the end of which reads "Fathers...bring them [your children] up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." He then goes on to say: "It is fathers - not youth ministers, children's ministers, or preschool ministers - who are charged with this duty of discipling the next generation." Powerful stuff indeed. We men have been charged with a high calling by the Scriptures and therefore we must be found faithful to that calling (note that I said "faithful," not perfect).

Ranging through a number of topics, including the breakdown of the family, the way that churches often divide upon generational lines, the shattering of home life into a place where "they share an address and a last name, but they don't share life", to speaking directly towards a man's marriage and how he disciplines his children, I found this book to be an extremely helpful read which was quite Biblical, though not without the odd disagreement in application here or there.

On chapter that I found especially helpful was "The Purpose of Marriage," near the end of which Pastor Baucham points out that God uses our marriages to progressively mature and sanctify us: "One of the tools he's [God] using in this process is your wife. You're impatient, so he gave you a woman who's very different than you are in order to work patience in you. You're selfish, so he gave you a woman who needs and depends upon you." If only more and more folks could see this truth in their marriages: it's not always about smooth sailing, but instead it's about God working in us, sometimes in ways we'd rather He not, but always for our own good and His eternal glory.

Another topic that the author nails dead center concerns the role distinctions between men and women. This is a much argued and disagreed upon point, and yet we do see Scriptural support for the man taking leadership in the home. However, Pastor Baucham helpfully points out that this is often misunderstood to be some sort of distinction in quality, character, or worth (which it is not) as opposed to a distinction in responsibility: "In the partnership of two spiritually equal human beings...the man bears the primary responsibility to lead the partnership in a God-glorifying direction (requoted from Ray Ortlund)."

All of these wonderful points said, the book is not without its flaws, though they are few and far between. Though I did not find any big picture concepts that I disagreed with, there were a handful of occasions in which the author seemed to be pushing his supporting points a bit past what they actually proved. Pastor Baucham spends a great deal of time trying to show the proliferation of what he terms "Pelagian" parenting books, i.e. books that only address behavioral issues rather than spiritual ones. While this is certainly a present danger, a few of the quotations that Baucham gives don't seem to support his points very well, if at all, especially his rant on a popular parenting book by Michael Pearl, where the quote that Baucham offers on p.118 doesn't appear to back up his argument. I am not defending Michael Pearl or his works, but at the same time I didn't see that Baucham offered an accurate explanation of those he criticized either even though his larger points are certainly accurate. Thus I would caution the reader to take the comparisons that Baucham offers with a grain of salt and to always read carefully.

Another area that readers may want to be aware of is the chapter on "Corrective Discipline." Opinions will vary across Christianity - some will read this chapter and want to throw the book across the room, otherwise will stand and cheer. In either case, Baucham is well worth reading here for the challenge that he gives for his side of the debate which should spur the reader towards their own Biblical thinking, whether they find themselves in agreement or in opposition.

These thoughts aside, Baucham's book is a quick read that I would recommend for those who will take the time to study it carefully, applying what is good and Biblically-sound while setting aside some of the more extreme examples. My prayer is that it will help many Christian men to understand the task that is laid before them and to seek the Lord for it's accomplishment.

(In the interest of full disclosure, I want to note that the publisher of this book, Crossway, provided it at no cost to me as a review sample. That said, my review is in no way influenced or controlled by them and thus I give my review of this book with honesty and integrity and have received no compensation for this review)

The Church’s Mission

I wrote not long ago a few thoughts on the purpose and mission of the church. Recently, I came across a great quote from C.S. Lewis' Screwtape Letters which seems to speak to this very issue (for those who don't know, the book is meant to be a fictional record of how the forces of evil try to trip up the followers of God, so you must read the quote from a "devil's advocate" perspective to understand what is meant here):

"About the general connection between Christianity and politics, our position is more delicate.

Certainly we do not want men to allow their Christianity to flow over into their political life, for the establishment of anything like a really just society would be a major disaster.

On the other hand, we do want, and want very much, to make men treat Christianity as a means; preferably, of course, as a means to their own advancement, but, failing that, as a means to anything—even to social justice.

The thing to do is to get a man at first to value social justice as a thing which the Enemy [=God] demands, and then work him on to the stage at which he values Christianity because it may produce social justice. For the Enemy will not be used as a convenience. Men or nations who think they can revive the Faith in order to make a good society might just as well think they can use the stairs of Heaven as a short cut to the nearest chemist’s shop. Fortunately it is quite easy to coax humans round this little corner." (p.126-127)

On the webpage where I found the quote, there was a very helpful comment made which I believe helps to sum up Lewis' point:

"In other words, don't confuse the Gospel with the results or implications of the Gospel, or you'll lose the Gospel."

Our Message to the World

A potent thought to get our week started off on the right foot...

“Our message to the world is repentance, not acceptance. Our aim in church is holiness, not conformity. It is the holiness of God’s people that commends the gospel. If we are no different than the world around us, we have nothing to say to the world.” -Rev. Phillip Jensen

Be different this week...show Christ's love to those who don't deserve it. Tell of Christ's grace to those who need to be reminded of it.

What is “the fear of the Lord?”

This is one of those phrases that has a multitude of definitions, many of them even contradictory! Sometimes we overemphasize the fear of the Lord, as if to say "you should tremble in your boots every time that you open your Bible because that's what a humble Christian does!" Other times we minimize the fear of the Lord: "it's ok, God loves everyone and He would never do anything to hold you accountable." Of course, neither of these extremes are true to the Biblical witness. While fear encompasses a deep and abiding respect for God, there is also a genuine element of awe (perhaps even "fear" in the most healthy understanding of the word) at the power, righteousness, and strength of the Lord. This should compel us to a worship-ful response.

I came across a helpful definition flowing from the Book of Proverbs that I'd like to pass on to you for consideration:

“According to the book of Proverbs, ‘the fear of the Lord’ is a continual (Prov. 23:17), humble, and faithful submission to Yahweh, which compels one to hate evil (Prov. 8:13) and turn away from it (Prov. 16:6) and brings with it rewards better than all earthly treasures (Prov. 15:16)—the rewards of a love for and a knowledge of God (Prov. 1:29; 2:5; 9:10; 15:33), and long life (Prov. 10:27; 14:27a; 19:23a), confidence (Prov. 14:26), satisfaction, and protection (Prov. 19:23).”

—Douglas Sean O’Donnell, The Beginning and End of Wisdom (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2011), p. 37.

Thus, it might be more helpful to think of the fear of the Lord in the sense of our devotion (or lack thereof) to God, which is another way of saying that the fear of the Lord is something that should define us rather than somehow defining God's character. The big picture then? To fear the Lord is to give Him all honor and respect, to serve Him rightly and humbly, and to understand that God's limitless power - though far beyond what we can comprehend, which ought to make us tremble in some ways - is used for our own good because of our salvation in Jesus Christ. The fear of the Lord should give us great confidence in God's goodness and trustworthiness. Or, as C.S. Lewis puts it in the Chronicles of Narnia: "Safe? Who said anything about safe? 'Course He isn't safe. But He's good. He's the King, I tell you."